That's better...
I've found a way of venting my anger in a creative way but I'm not giving you any clues as to what it is - I'll let you work it out for yourself.
I'm still feeling a little distant tonight but I think it could be related to my being sick - I'm edging towards a non-physical sickness here (note I'm not saying mental illness here). I'm actually wondering if I picked up a touch of blood poisoning or something because I'm pretty itchy but I think it's more that I'm exhausted. I've been running on fumes for quite a while and what I was saying yesterday made a lot of sense to me. I haven't had an actual holiday (sod off - relax - do nothing) for about a year. Sure, I've been away a few times (as detailed in other entries) but I've always been doing stuff and not relaxing.
The closer it comes to losing the night shift the more I realise I am going to miss it and yet I know now that I couldn't have lasted much longer anyway. I miss the days and not just daylight. I am beginning to think about how good it will be to get my old life back. I'm thinking about going out with my real friends instead of rotting slowly with my internet ones. It doesn't mean I like them any less it's just that they are tangable and the interaction is just too stultified for me - I need real human interaction or I just become stale. The proof of that is in these very pages.
The good news is that my friend Lisa has been in touch again. It turns out that a lot has happened in the last year and she is expecting her first child in January. The father has decided that the mature and responsable way to deal with this situation is to disappear. I'm sure she'll deal with it though she has a lot of support around her (I'm sure her parents will come around in the end).
Today's Word: PRECOGNITION
Today's Mood: Centred
I've found a way of venting my anger in a creative way but I'm not giving you any clues as to what it is - I'll let you work it out for yourself.
I'm still feeling a little distant tonight but I think it could be related to my being sick - I'm edging towards a non-physical sickness here (note I'm not saying mental illness here). I'm actually wondering if I picked up a touch of blood poisoning or something because I'm pretty itchy but I think it's more that I'm exhausted. I've been running on fumes for quite a while and what I was saying yesterday made a lot of sense to me. I haven't had an actual holiday (sod off - relax - do nothing) for about a year. Sure, I've been away a few times (as detailed in other entries) but I've always been doing stuff and not relaxing.
The closer it comes to losing the night shift the more I realise I am going to miss it and yet I know now that I couldn't have lasted much longer anyway. I miss the days and not just daylight. I am beginning to think about how good it will be to get my old life back. I'm thinking about going out with my real friends instead of rotting slowly with my internet ones. It doesn't mean I like them any less it's just that they are tangable and the interaction is just too stultified for me - I need real human interaction or I just become stale. The proof of that is in these very pages.
The good news is that my friend Lisa has been in touch again. It turns out that a lot has happened in the last year and she is expecting her first child in January. The father has decided that the mature and responsable way to deal with this situation is to disappear. I'm sure she'll deal with it though she has a lot of support around her (I'm sure her parents will come around in the end).
Today's Word: PRECOGNITION
Today's Mood: Centred
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