Confessions of a Dibberous Mind

Hmmm screwy... Well, it's New Year's Eve so, for the benefit of those that still take time out to read this stuff, I will look forward for once instead of going backwards. Having said that, a quick review might not be a bad idea... This year, whilst being in a state of free fall, I have achieved a load of goals (Che, I apologise for describing you as a goal - you are so much more than that). I broke out of the slump that I have been in for so long and started making some changes. Whilst it's true that one of the reasons I wanted a house of my own was to give up living like a student and start being a grown-up I don't think I have managed that yet. I have the house, now I just need to change my attitude. On top of all this I have had my world turned upside-down by an unexpected and welcome force of nature (Che, I make no apologies for describing you as a force of nature - There is no better way of describing you). I have gone from feeling despondent to depressed to...

This is whole working-whilst-suffering-from-Ebola thing is getting beyond a joke... Well, it's finally got to me. I have been putting off a cold for a while but it's hit at its hardest and I can't ignore it anymore. I'm not looking for sympathy or anything like that, I just want a bit of time so I can stay in bed, sleep and fight off the infection in case it becomes anything worse. The trouble is that the company has decided that my attendance is not good enough and that if I have any time off between now and April I will land myself with a disciplinary hearing. The upshot of this is that, no matter how bad I feel or how contagious I am, I am forced to work through any illness I may have. It's my own fault really because I shouldn't have been working in the same place for this long. Three years is more than enough for a call centre, especially when the only thing that has changed in your role is the title. Still, no use whining about it here. Che is sti...

Merry Christmas everyone... I hope you got what you wanted and/or what you deserve. Love to you and yours this Christmas and peace be with you. Dibbie xxx

Does anyone still read this? I hope so. I want to apologise for my trardiness with writing a new entry - so much has happened to me over the last month that there is no way I could cover everything successfully but the important thing to remember is that I am happy. Truth be told, I am probably happier now than I have been in a stupidly long time. Perhaps I just can't blog "happy". I have tried to blog a few times recently and lost each entry to the ether so I have not completely forgotten to do it but I don't need to make excuses. There is no way I can do justice to this month so I will not try except to highlight some of the more impotant aspects: I saw Lee for what could be the last time in this country when he came to visit - we had a great time as usual but it was tinged with a little sadness, I'm going to miss him and I just wish we had known each other for longer. Jinko, the co-founder of Dixi-land and a good friend of mine tragically too...

Back, rested and back to work... Bummer... Enough of the moaning already!! I have just spent one of the most amazing weeks of my life with some of the most special people I know and I'm riding high because of it. So what have I been up to? Funny you should ask... I got tattooed. It's been a long time coming (somewhere around 15 years) but I finally found something that I would be happy spending the rest of my life with. I had often thought about the usual stuff, things like band names or other pop culture icons that would instantly tell people who I was or maybe even something a little out of the ordinary. At one point I had the idea of combining the lot and having a barcode tattoo which would actually be the barcode of my favourite album. The problem there is that opinions change as does technology, barcodes will become obsolete and I would be left with the equivalent of a tattoo that reads two-and-sixpence!! Inspired by the lovely Ms Hamstera I went to a tattoo pa...

I'm still up there on cloud 9 and I refuse to budge... In the interest of blog-preservation however I will return to my usually gripey self. Work is beginning to become a nightmarish experience for me. There are a few reasons for this... 1) It prevents me from doing what I want to do 2) It is stifling my creativity 3) My faith in human understanding and kindness is dwindling When I started back in October of 2001 I used to relish the thought of coming in and being challenged on a call-by-call basis. I loved the fact that I could fix a problem, grab a coffee and move on to the next with a smile on my face and a smug eagerness in my voice. Oh, how things change... The abject feelings of dread began to creep in as the months passed and the time that they occurred became earlier and earlier. Now I find myself dreading it before I even get out of bed. I hate the thought that I will have to go to work the next day and each minute I am in work becomes a challenge of a differ...

Right (oh so right)... The secret is out of the bag and I can return with my head held high. Sure, I've been away for a long time without going anywhere and I wouldn't be surprised if those people who read this on a regular basis have ventured elsewhere - how can you regularly read something so irregular? So what is it that has kept me away for so long? The answer is simple and amazing - Che and myself are now an item!! It's been a rocky road - I'm not going to lie to you - but at the end of that road there was something very special. It's early days and we are both VERY aware of that but it doesn't mean that we aren't dealing with heavy emotions. In truth both of us have been skirting around the issue for longer than we would care to admit, we have been so deep in denial about our feelings that we were in danger of being eaten by crocodiles!! As Che has said in her blog the L-word has come up relatively frequently and (I'm glad to say) not ju...

DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!! Nuff said for now. I promise I will return very soon with a VERY VERY amazing secret. Love you all and I'll be back soon Dibs xxx

Hmmm... I have to admit that this internet absence thing is becoming weirder by the minute. I haven't dropped it completely like I did a while ago and I have left myself available to some people. It seems that one of those people (who I will refer to as Dave even though it is not her real name) has been "found out". She has/had two blogs - a weebl blog and a personal blog - which I read on a regular basis but they were found by her boss and now she is facing problems because of them. The trouble is that her boss thinks that they over-stepped the mark on a few occasions (especially when she was talking about colleagues and taking "sickies") so they have now been removed. It's a real shame because it has led me to think about what I am writing and how it could effect other people. In all honesty I don't think there is anything that I have written that I would not admit to someone face-to-face, and I'm sure that "Dave's" would say...

What a day... I woke up at a stupidly early hour this morning to go to work, I arrived at 7:45am and was told that we would be offline until 11am. Better news was to come when we were told that 11am would actually be 1pm - Nearly half a day over and no work to show for it. The Gods of work have clearly decided that my recent turbulence should come to an end and I have been given the pleasure of callbacks all week. Most people are ambivalent towards them but I love 'em - You get to cruise through a list of people and pick out which ones deserve the benefit of your knowledge. Sweet. My e-absence is going pretty well at the moment and I have reduced my online time immensely. Due to the down-time at work I was able to sign-up for the all new Weebl and Bob forums (the link on the left has been updated) and I even posted just to let people know I was there and that all was cool. Dixi, on the other hand, decided to die on us for the evening so Jinko has been working feverishly to...

Heh, that went well So, what is going on in the Dibbiverse? In truth not much and yet potentially lots - Let's take it a step at a time shall we. Firstly I want to make a huge u-turn on everything I have ever said about those lovely people at blogger. Now that Google have stepped in and made most of the Pro services free it means that everything will be running smoother. No more cursing those long posts about important events that suddenly go missing when you click on the post button and now I may even spell things correctly. Thanks Blogger, you guys rawk. I have decided to take a week off from interweb activity (but hopefully not here) so that I can focus on myself and the changes I need to make. What changes am I talking about? All will be revealed. Thursday was a very bad day for me. I have been invited to my Dad's 60th Birthday party in Cheshire on 4th of October (even though his birthday is 23rd of this month) which is great. I put in the holiday request for i...

I'm back... Actually, I haven't been anywhere but I am trying to shake this crapness I have sunken into recently. I saw the doctor the other day and she is convinced that my recent lowness is to do with the fact that I have sinusitis. She told me to take the week off and try to relax (she also gave me a load of medication to fight the infection). As this is just an apology for tardiness and not a real entry I'll leave out the usual bumf but I'll update very soon with some interesting news...

Oops... Actually, I have a good excuse this time. I have been tring to stay awayf rom computer related business so that I can have a bit more time in my life. It's weird but when I was working nights I seemes to have a lot more time to myself but now I feel like I'm being spread pretty thin. I'm looking at a seven day working stretch now and that just seems nightmarish from this angle. The problem is that I will be doing 5 days of 4pm until midnight shifts and one of those will get in the way of something brilliant happening: The Colonel has said he will return for the weekend!!! Hopefully I will be able to take Bank Holiday Monday off so the fun can continue for an extra day. I've applied for it so now it's just a matter of time. Alex and myself had another movie and booze night on Wednesday which was cool. The movies of choice this time were From Hell , Phone Booth and Spy Game . I'm hoping I didn't scare Alex with my facts about the Ripper mu...

Heh... Helllllooooo Monday. Just as I thought I had become more regimed and centred things go horribly pear-shaped again. To be honest it seemed a bit pointless to update over the last couple of days. I could have had one of those reminiscence sessions that occasionally pop-up from time to time but it's been too hot to think. I suppose I have done some positive stuff but nothing worth writing home about. The majority of the action has been photographically based so I'll include a photo I have taken (yes, it's another berry) for a competition at weebl + bob. This one has had a lot more done to it than the previous one so the effects are a bit more dramatic: The competition calls for contrasting colours and I think the photo makes it's point quite well. For anyone who is interested the method can be found at the end of this entry. I have decided to spend a little less time on IRC because it is eating away at my time. It's become the ultimate excuse to ...

Am I a pirate? I suppose the answer has to be yes because I have had a major sea-change in the few short hours since I last updated. I had an almost religious experience last night and it has totally changed my outlook on my current situation. I was watching the extra features on the "Catch Me If You Can" DVD to see if I could find out which bits were true and which bits were fabrication. There was an interview with Frank W. Abagnale (the guy whose exploits are catalogued byt the movie) and he said something along the lines of: "I have really managed to turn my life around, I started out as a criminal and I never would have dreamed that I would end up working for the FBI." Ok, I was most of the way through a bottle of wine at the time but it struck a chord with me and I suddenly started laughing. I wasn't laughing at anything Frank was saying or, indeed, had said, I was laughing at something else - I was laughing at myself. I could suddenly see very...

Tricky... I wrote a blog a few days ago and lost it. It wasn't very long but it explained where I was and what I was doing. Truth be told I'm not in the best of spirits and I can't work out why. I think the majority of it is down to money and missing my nocturnal life-style but there is an added twist this time: I keep thinking about the future. The future has always been, for me, something that happens to other people. I have had people ask me what I am doing a few days hence only for them to be told by me that I never planned that far ahead. Now I'm thinking about where I will be a few years down the line and, to quote old maps, there be dragons. I'm not going to delve too deeply into how I am feeling at the moment because that caused all kinds of problems last time but I know I have to change the way I am living at the moment. I think that covers it for now - Let's just say that the crisis may have had a delay timer on it... Terminator 3 was ok, n...

Must... Sleep... Last night was great. I managed to chill me boots and knock back a few brewskis in the company of Alex and a couple of movies. I am beginning to feel at home now and it's a sweet feeling. I'm not talking about the materialistic "I've got a house" feeling but the feeling of finally cutting a niche in the world and slotting myself into it. I have had thoughts about the house and it's future, ways I could improve the lay-out and decore and what I'll do when I need to replace the boiler (happily that should be a LONG way off yet). Like I've said before I'll try to leave this as movie-review free as possible but if you get the chance to see "Catch Me If You Can" then you should jump at it. I'm a bit of a Spielberg fan anyway but this is definately one of his best and is, in turns, funny, disturbing and sad. Like Alex said last night - I would love to know just how true all the exploits are. I had yet another Chine...

I'm so tired that I have started to stare... You know that feeling where your brain just shuts off and your eyes fail to focus on anything in particular? I keep doing that. Even finding the patience to write this is becoming tricky and I have another 2 days to go!! I don't think I was built for 6am starts, they just seem unnatural. Anyway, It looks like a busy week: Tonight I am off to Alison's to clear out the rest of my stuff (something I should have done earlier - sorry Alison) and then, hopefully, bed but no doubt the conspiracy to keep me awake will continue. Tomorrow I will be entertaining for the evening instead of trying to sort out the remaining crap (there's nothing like putting a double bed in a room to make it feel small). I will have to sort it out before September because the spare-room will no longer be spare after then. Thursday is Terminator 3 day and I've been looking forward to it for a while - I'll come back to that later. Friday is my ...

Weeeee... Ok, I'm still dealing with my wibblings and trying to find reasons why they are happening and I'm still coming up blank. Generally I think my thick skin has worn thin and jibes and insults are being absorbed instead of bouncing. I had a great day on Thursday because I was busy so I'm going to try to remain so. The day started badly, I was in bed and heard a knock at the door. It was the washing machine guy who had turned up on his own. I rushed down in my bath-robe only to hear him say "Sorry mate - I didn't know there were steps, I'll come back later." Does he not read my blog? Sheesh. (Actually it occurs to me that I haven't posted any photos of the new gaff so I'll finish this post with them) The following hours until he (and a a mate this time) turned up again were bright and beautiful and I spent them tidying, cleaning, computing and gazing at my beautiful view. I could see the clouds gathering in the distance but I was c...

It's ok folks, he's alive... I'm sorry this has been so bitty recently but I have had a lot and nothing to do all at the same time. Last night I had a huge wibble which resulted in me having a bit of a sob (actually I bawled like a baby) but I put it down to trying to let out some of the stress I have been feeling. Looking back on it it was funny really because I was having a real crisis instead of just trying to have one. My main problem was this: I rattle! No, I don't mean that I physically rattle or that I am having chest problems (although I am) I mean that I am like a pea in a great big drum. I'm also conflicted - I relish my time alone but I hate being lonely. When I was at Alison's she was generally asleep when I was awake but she was there at least and I had to regulate my behaviour accordingly. Now, however, I am on my own (until September) so I can do what I want or, more accurately, I can do what I want as long as it doesn't involve clos...

Oh foul beast of wordsmithery!! I did a huge update last night and lost it ALL - ALL of it!! I even copied and pasted it just to be safe and then my computer freaked out and I lost the lot! Right, it's been a long time so I'll recap: This week I are been mainly moving house, entertaining the colonel and stressing beyond all recognition - Excellent, brilliant and pants respectively. I got the move underway on Tuesday having spent Monday trying my hardest to avoid doing anything at all. I failed to pack anything wortwhile and then went out for the evening when Lee (The Colonel) turned up two hours late. I wasn't bothered because it wasn't his fault. Apparently the weather was too hot for the signals to work properly so most journeys had to be rerouted or abandoned. We made it to the pub just minutes before Ralph arrived. He had managed to skip out of work early and so we could spend more time boozing and getting to know Lee. I've got to be honest I was wor...

Very short and sweet today but there is another good reason. This will be my last entry until I have moved to the new house and got myself sorted out. Thankfully not very much has happened but I feel like I've accomplished quite a lot. I have organised a moving posse for Tuesday which includes (drumroll) The Colonel!! He is taking time out to come up from Exeter just to see me and to help me move - what a guy. Alex is going to borrow a big van from his Dad and everyone else has offered to muck in for the night. Looks like everything is going to go swimmingly. I will be back on Wednesday (assuming the installation goes through without a hitch) so I'll blog-it-up big then. Cheers to you all and BIG LOVE. Leave me some comments - I'm beginning to feel unloved Today's Word: CULMINATION Today's Mood: Bowl of Cherries... Plate of Oysters... Nuff said

Oooh no post yesterday whatagowan? Well there is no excuse really except that I was busy doing other stuff. I spent the whole day "mucking out" my room and generally trying to get it into a fit state to move. I have boxed up my beloved DVDs and I have decided that I will donate my videos to a worthy cause (in this case Alan). I can't see the point in owning a video player any more - the quality just isn't up to scratch and makes me want to scream. I had a couple of very deep and very difficult conversations with online friends last night but they were balanced by a quick chat with Che and the uploading of my first "Adventure of Mini-Dibbie". If you are interested the link for my Weebl blog is on the left and Mini-Dibbie should be setting up home there. I'm going to call it quits here for now but I'll continue later. Days have had a strange effect on me Updatey I had an amazingly interesting night last night and I think I will stick to...

Ohmygod, Ohmygod, Ohmygod... I saw the solicitor this morning and everything is done. If all goes to plan (and it will knowing Pauline and Steve) I should be able to move in on Monday afternoon. I really don't have much time at the moment because my parents are on the way to pick me up but I will do an updatey as soon as I get in. I just thought that this was too important to wait. Updatey What a day. It's been a belter weatherwise and it was almost a pleasure* to be with my parents for the day. Much to my surprise my parents had decided to go to Tenby for the day - Had I known I'd have taken my camera but I'll just have to take a tip from Alison and paint a picture with words. Tenby is a surprising place. I have known about its existence for a while and the only thing I knew for certain was that it was a bit of a tourist mecca. It is a picturesque blend of georgian houses, art-deco stylings and beaches. The beaches are golden and strech off into the di...

Practically no blog today... I am off out in about 20 minutes. My parents have invited me to a BBQ at their caravan (oh, the irony) so I'm off there. It's particularly bad timing today because Che is in Seattle with Joe and I won't be anywhere near a computer so I might miss my opportunity to chat. I can't complain much though - she'll be in Swansea soon enough and then catching up won't be quite as difficult. Joe has sent me a copy of his freshly produced diving DVD so expect a review/bigging up in these pages at a later date. If I am around later I'll discuss the BBQ - The camera is coming with me too Today's Word: CARNIVOROUS Today's Mood: Good and happy yet sorry that I may miss Che and Joe.

Aight peeps? My parents are in town!! It seems that they got here on Thursday night but they haven't said anything. They are currently staying in a caravan park in Gowerton and hanging out with my brother and his family. I will no doubt be seeing them tomorrow because I HAVE A DAY OFF!! THREE ACTUALLY!! Then I have a 10 day stretch so things could get pretty stale in here . Che has finally hit Seattle after a trek across the US so, with a bit of luck, I'll be hearing about her adventures pretty soon. Joe and me were a little worried for a while because she was late checking in but we know she's safe so all is cool. It'll be good to have her back - the entertainment value index has gone up a few more points already . The blog over at W+B seems to be a success but, as the majority of people who care about it also read this, I will repeat that THIS is my blog so don't bank on the other one being updated as often as you would like. It'll never be the life-j...

Oooh 'eck!! I have just won a new blog on the weebl + bob website!! Don't panic though - it won't be updated as often as this one and it'll be filled with pap. Once I have the link I'll stick it up on the left. I didn't expect to get one to be honest but I seem to be a little more popular than I though. I left a particularly fawning message to everyone who voted for me. I've done very little in the last 24 hours so I don't have much to say. I have thought about my finacial position for the month and I think I'm covered so that is now off my mind and I have made an appointment to see my solicitor so the house will be sorted out on Monday. Don't feel cheated though because here, as promised, is the story of the Swansea Night-Team Night-Out: Apologies to anyone with a dial-up modem - This will be picture heavy... Due to the nature of shift work some of us had to work the previous night so the plan for the evening was: 2pm - Meet up in...

It's still sinking in... Me a home-owner? It sounds strange. I'm officially old! I can't help thinking about things like " the future " and " my place in the world " and I'm not used to it. I wouldn't say that my motto has ever been "Live fast - die young" but I have always thought of myself as a teenager especially throughout my twenties. I have to admit I'm kind of pleased about it because I have reached another goal that I had set for myself. To be absolutely honest I have only just realised that and it's put a smile on my face. My plan was always something like: Age Goal 16 - Pass GCSEs with straight A's and go to do my A-Levels 18 - University to do Micro-biology 25(ish) - Good job in Food Technology 30 - Move into first house with wife/long-term partner 33 - I'll probably be dead by then (bloody hell that's old) Obviously it kept getting revised and became: Age Goal 1...