Confessions of a Dibberous Mind

Yet another dull as ditch-water day - Whaddaya expect? I work nights 4 days a week!! The most significant piece of news is that an old friend has of mine has taken his own life. I'm not going to get all maudlin about it - I hadn't seen him for a long time and I didn't know him as well as some of my other friends did. From a purely selfish point of view I am hoping that if bad news comes in threes then this should be the third. Still no news on the chest hair front but with all this fuel you would have thought my crisis would have gone into overdrive but I'm giving up on it. I've been given a message and that message is get out of this rut and make your own luck. In short the crisis has become an eagerness to change my circumstances and nothing more. I think yesterday's blog was a bit of a mistake. It was informative, sure, but it didn't really relate to me. All in all it was just a collection of facts about a guy who died hundreds of years ago! As a...

To quote most blogs that have ever been written - Nothing of any worth happened today. As a result I'm going to do one of my discussion days. Recently I have found myself looking forward to the premier of the new Matrix movie and inevitably this has led me back to my Cartesian roots. If you aren't aware of the story behind the original movie it is this: A young hacker is drawn into what, on the surface, seems to be a group of like minded individuals who are being sought by a government agency. It actually turns out that these people are actually awake in a world produced by a super computer. The computers manipulate everything that normal people see and hear making them think that they are alive in the day-to-day sense that we are when they are actually motionless "batteries" producing power for the machines from their holding cells. To cut a long story short it turns out that the young hacker could be "The One" - a legendary figure who can control and...

I'm feeling a bit better today - certainly less self-pitying anyway. My new Taken DVD boxset arrived this morning and took my mind off everything. I still say if you throw enough money around you can maintain a level of contentedness. Anyhoo, I spent some of yesterday with my Brother just hanging out and chewing the fat. It was good to see him because I don't get the chance to very often and we are very close. A happy side effect of seeing our kid is that it invariably means I get to see my nephew Jack and my sister-in-law Penny. It was definatley a joyful oasis in an otherwise dodgy day. I reprogrammed perfectly this time but I put that down to being strict with myself about the hours I could sleep - the result is that I feel all more dynamic at the moment and it's something I will try to keep up(while I need to). Being rational about it, it is getting harder and harder to work nights anyway. Firstly there has been a massive drop off in the number of incoming call...

"Cry 'HAVOC' and let slip the dogs of war!" - William Shakespeare, Julius Caesar, Act III, Scene I Now that is what I call melodramatic pretentious posturing... I haven't had the greatest of weeks so far but I am accepting my fate with a kind of tired anticipation. We had "The Meeting" this morning and my worst fears were confirmed. It is now made official that the night team will cease to exist as of 1st July. There are pros and cons to this and the management were, at least, responsible enough to offer us a redundancy package. Our choice is simple - join the day team and take a £4000 pay drop or take 2 months redundancy pay and ship out. Suffice it to say that I will be staying on for the time being - 2 months pay isn't enough to help me. As if all that wasn't bad enough I then came back and called my friend in the States only to be told that she has contracted Hepatitis C - a potentially fatal disease. For those that don...

Hurry on sundown... See what tomorrow brings. I'm tired - that much is easy. I know I tired because I am feeling more emotional than usual. As an example of just how emotional I'm feeling the White Sox are playing probably as we speak and I am right here writing my blog. I could just reach over and turn on the TV but then I know I would just put off writing this until tomorrow when everything looks more rosey. As I have mentioned before the whole point of this blog is to discipline myself into writing again so one baseball game WILL NOT stand in my way. I got in this morning and talked to the aforementioned blog/forumite for a while. I think I was being a bit crap but that, again, was because I was tired. I have had to reprogram myself today as well so I have only allowed myself 4 hours sleep. I will sleep tonight though - I can feel it. My one hope is that I didn't come across as stupid or boring but if I did - I did... Nothing can change that now. This evening I ...

Hmmmm... I've read a couple of other blogs today and I feel I need to apologise to my readers. I'm not currently having sex and I don't think the likelihood of any licencious gossip is going to rear it's head for quite a while. Whilst I could talk about masturbation I think that you would probably find that disturbing so I won't. I will happily be talking about people I would like to have sex with so if that floats yer boat it's good news. I've got a song stuck in my head and it won't go away. It's Stone Sour's "Bother" which contains the lyrics: Wish I was too dead to care If indeed I cared at all Never had a voice to protest So you fed me shit to digest I wish I had a reason; my flaws are open season For this, I gave up trying One good turn deserves my dying I don't know why but this seems to be quite fitting at the moment. If you haven't heard the song you should try to listen to it as soon as possible. ...