Confessions of a Dibberous Mind

Blimey it's nearly Christmas again... This time last year Sarah had sodded off to Brum and left me to pine away, I was suffering from some kind of cold which turned out to polyps and I was desperately trying to find a new job. This year... errr... Sarah is staying in Swansea with me. That's right, nothing else has changed! I went to hospital yesterday to discuss the operation that I may require but it turns out that they don't like to operate on hunks of burning love like myself. They didn't put it that way of course. Their exact wording was something like "If you were a bit taller you would be closer to your target weight". What? Are they trying to tell me that I need to grow? Surely as medics they know I am at full height now and will only start to shrink from hereon in!

It's a small world and websites are even smaller... I subscribe to an arty-farty website called Photosig on which a bunch of international chaps and chapettes foist their (often pornographic and usually sub-standard) photographic portfolios and adventures upon one-another. The idea of the site is to critique each other's work and help to improve the overall standard of photography. The practicality is that the professional elite disparage the amateurs who then sell their equipment in a fit of hopeless despair. I take no notice of the barrage of abuse and concentrate on what I like to look at. Last night I was flicking through the fresh additions to the site looking for inspiration when I came across a rather " artisitic " photo which caught my eye. This wasn't the usual "internal examination shot" so enjoyed by our European cousins - it was, instead, a nicely lit topless shot of a universally attractive model. The thing that really caught my eye w...

I can no longer sleep (sleep? don't talk to me about bloody sleep...)... My mind is racing out of control and I just don't know where to turn. The cause of my current turmoil? The death of my earlier happiness? Well I could blame Sarah for waking me up after 4 hours of sleep to take out the recycling but that is a minor abrasion on the paper thin dermis of existence. The real cause is the suffering of thousands of penguins this Christmas! Due to the breaking away of an iceberg (huge ice mountain not small tasteless lettuce) called B15A or "Beeza" to it's cohorts the poor defenceless penguins are having to travel up to 60 miles to get food for their fluffy little chicks. This means a round trip of 120 miles just to pick up some munchies. This comes hard upon the revelation the other penguins are becoming so interested in jets and helicopters flying overhead that they are falling over backwards trying to trace the crafts as they pass. In response I am plann...

Ah well still no news on the proper Blogsite so I'll struggle on here for a bit. I'm feeling a little more ebullient today so that should mean that the post will be proportionally less funny but you can't have everything eh? Sad songs are better than happy songs but they make you feel bad! I am in the process of selling my DV Cam. It's a sad day but, as it has come in as handy as a Spanish phrase book written entirely in Spanish, it is the only decent thing to do. Hopefully it will result in a happier and less suicidal yuletide. Recently I have had a bit of a funk on my shoulders and, realising that I have been living like a capitalist peeeeg for a number of months, I have decided it is time to get back to basics. I have been a caravan dwelling dole-ite and a no-food-for-a-week-except-a-packet-of-biscuits student so when did I become so decadent? Things were so bad (psychologically it transpired) that I even considered selling my prized possessions... The DVDs...

It's all about positioning yourself correctly isn't it? I mean, it has to be... Currently I am going through a rough patch with luck and money - if it wasn't for bad luck I'd certainly have no luck at all - and yet looking around me I have to ask why? Take, for example, a certain member of my family who has made it his life's ambition to be a victim of the 80's. He has done this so convincingly that he has put his own father in a home and: a) Failed to notify any of his family that he has done this b) Spent the proceeds of the sale of his Dad's house on a "granny flat" which he seemingly had no intention of housing my Grandad in! Net result = net profit, a freshly renovated money pit, a father remaining unvisited in some remote age-jail and the kind of conscience that allows you to sleep like a baby. Do I sound a little bit preachy? Yeah damn fucking straight I do! I can't do it, I cannot, in all conscience, allow myself to make a ...

Mmmm, excellent, it would seem that I still have some readers... Once again I have written a blog only to see it disappear into the ether so here is v2.0, lets hope it stays: In summary: I am ill. I have been given time off work by the doctor because my nasal polyps have returned (grim) and they, in turn, make it almost impossible for people to understand what I am saying. Fortunately it's not the kind of illness that completely incapacitates you so I am using the available time to concentrate on getting a new job (which I may now need due to the ridiculous regime at work). It would seem that the sickness regime has got something of a reputation because my doctor knew what kind of problems I would encounter as a result of my absense. I have heard from Lee in America and he seems to be fine, he's set himself up with a PS2 and is having big fun with Ray - Whilst I am sad to see him go I am also really happy for him, he may have found his niche. Today's big new is...

Hmmmm... Well, I got stuck on frivlously... 12 days off and back to work. It sucks and I have resolved that it WILL change. I am taking steps to sort out my life because I am sick of my own complacency. 12 days of doing nothing hasn't helped, I could have done so much more but I didn't. I haven't been entirely lazy though... I have bought a sofa. It finally happened. The current sofa was a present but it's a nightmare. It's a sofa-bed and doesn't function well as either! It's impossible to get comfortable on it and if there is more than one person on it at a time it becomes almost nightmarish. Enough is enough so i have bitten the bullet and bought myself not just one but two sofas!! One is a large 3 seater which will probably get most attention but there is also a smaller 2 seater which is just as lovely looking but is around the same size as the current one. They are brand new and upholstered and look like the bayeaux tapestry would look if someone h...

Che is back... I am currently at work but as of midnight tonight I am on a well deserved holiday. I have taken 12 days off and I intend to use them: Frivolously Constructively Creatively Hopefully in that order. All I'm saying is that things may go quiet again for a couple of weeks but rest assured, I will be back very soon. Love you all Dibs xxx